my name is jerome, and i'm terrible.

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:26:48 GMT

i rather miss updating livejournal. perhaps..

Mon, 12 May 2008 23:45:03 GMT

so after a few weeks, i finally have the internet here in my new apartment.

i like our new place, although i'm not too stoked on the set up of my room. i'm taking a break from working on that right now.

i have a job at the johnny rodriguez salon in dallas (inwood village to be exact). it's an amazing salon and all the stylists are really talented.

we haven't been out too much since moving here. mostly just been getting settled in, going to the fitness center, and watching the NBA playoffs religiously. i did find an amazing pho restaurant just up the road, which is wonderful. and after just google searching bubble tea in plano.. i have discovered that there's a really nice bubble tea joint four miles from here. i gotta go..

can't get enough of this feeling.

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:34:33 GMT

it's been a minute, i suppose i'll update this here thing.

for those of you i'm not friends with on myspace, or didn't read the news.. i'm moving to plano (dfw) this sunday. we went to plano overnight monday and got a town home. 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bath, swanky hood. stoked. i'm looking at salons in plano and dallas to work at.

going to houston may 2nd for kanye. then may 5th, panda can party (which is me), is playing a show at boondocks. if you're over 21 and in htown, come celebrate cinco de mayo with me and let's get down.

does anyone else love run's house? i do. gtfo if you don't.

i met a christian in christiansands, the devil in helsinki

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 08:19:47 GMT

so i've decided not to go see justice in austin :(

but.. BUT.. I AM SEEING KANYE WEST, LUPE FIASCO, N.E.R.D., PHARRELL, AND RIHANNA ON MAY 2ND IN HOUSTON. TICKET = PURCHASED.

so after i made that last enry, i got promoted.. again. i'm the 2nd highest up in my department, and i no longer wear a shitty uniform. i get to dress up, carry around a clipboard (in case you didn't know.. clipboard = authority) and boss people around. good times. and my boss informed me yesterday that she's moving in about two months and she's putting in for me to take over her job. crazy shit.. i'm gonna feel kind of bad when i move. i've decided to extend my stay in lubbock till early fall. still moving back to boston though. unfinished business and whatnot.

my first two shows at panda can party were fun. during my first one, my friends kept buying me shots during my set. five shots (3 patron, 2 jager bombs) in thirty minutes = trouble. i'm going to start encouraging people at all my shows to buy me patron.

despite everything that's going on with my life right now (job going well, music, new house, etc).. i could not possibly be more bored with my life. despite how well everything is going, i don't want to be in this house or city. i don't want to have this job. all i ever think about is everything i'm missing out on somewhere else. the difference between where you are, and where you want to be. blah. i guess that's why there's alcohol, friends, and long nights.

that's how people grow up..

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 02:15:07 GMT

i've started to update this quite a few times, but i never finish. ;laksdjf.

i got a promotion at work. i currently work at embassy suites. i'm one of the heads of the housekeeping department (head houseman). basically i just make sure everyone's on top of their shit and i run back and forth between front desk and the managers and guests taking care of shit. it's not bad, tiring as shit some days.

my first show is coming up. saturday, the 2nd. if you live in lubbock, you should be there. shit's gonna go off.

i've decided to move back to boston. june/july-ish. yeah..

justice are gonna be in austin soon. many puppies will meet their end if i don't get to go.

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 23:46:45 GMT

sometimes i make music..

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 22:56:43 GMT

samples are up for anyone interested. vocals and more will be added soon as well as show announcements.

panda can party!
panda can party!
panda can party!
panda can party!

holler.

disappear here (i could charm them all).

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 08:07:43 GMT

what's wrong with people? why the fuck can't they see what's staring them in the face? i don't care if it's good, bad, awkward, confusing, grotesque.. whatever. why can't we acknowledge the present? why is it for some insane reason.. two parties can sit in front of each other and function? whether it's day to day.. month to month.. whatever. why do we allow each other to go on without saying what we want to say? stop making sense and start making love. stop living in fiction before it becomes a fairy tale.

i'm guilty of the same. i live my day to day life interacting regularly with two people that i have so much i'd like to say to.. i could write a fucking novel. but i'd rather have them as something than risk everything. it's safe. it's the safety net that allows us to be around these people and still feel like we're accomplishing something. yet it's the feeling that keeps us up at night wondering what went wrong.. what we should do.. whether we should be brave. heroic. epic.

"we're so much more epic than anything we could ever settle for."

we could be.. we really could.

i don't know what i'm getting at. and i'm probably not going to accomplish anything with this stupid entry in my stupid blog. it's just ridiculous that we can't just be honest. that we care about each other so much that we'd rather live in secret than live in each other.. or risk living without each other. and so i'll sit.. we'll sit.. and we'll listen to our music. and we'll relate. with the words that give us the feeling of courage that we can't garner up ourselves.

there's something in the water.. pulling us underneath.
creature called honestly, this ship's going under.
her name was vulnerability.

baby..

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 08:48:38 GMT

.. did you forget to take your meds?

panda can party. coming soon. my anthems. to a dance floor near you. or near me. bump. bump.

this album reminds me of her.

"we're sewn together
she's born mesmerize
beside astride her
i die inside her
it's far too sacred
don't ever fake it
and don't, and don't, and don't let me down..

like i let you down before
like you let me down before
like i let you down before
like you let me down before"

i'll sleep with my hands close.
breathe in sweet scents. we know. we know. wake up to sweet scents.

get into it.

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 17:47:58 GMT

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 18:40:16 GMT

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i broke my car this week. it's either the transmission or clutch. $$$.
i found a dope newsboy yesterday that i'm gonna try to get today.
yesterday was my uncles' 50th birthday. i ate propane grilled hamburgers for the first time. you really do taste the meat, not the heat.
friday night = 3 shots of patron, 3 shots of rum, like 9 beers, and a couple of other shots.. add all that up and you get twenty minutes of vomiting out the window of a moving vehicle, and sitting outside whataburger while your brother and friend get food, rambling at whoever walks by.
i've started working out again. so far, so good.
i want to get my chest tattooed soon. it's gonna say "el corazon is what brought us home" in cursive going from shoulder to shoulder right around the collar bone. ouch.
i hardly update this thing cause i rarely know what to say.
"i have a lot of magazine subscriptions.. yeah, i've got issues."

the bees need to stay busy..

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:13:24 GMT

something needs to happen.

best story ever.

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 08:34:47 GMT

designer alchemy: laptop
designer alchemy: manana
themostdeplete: word
designer alchemy: woah
designer alchemy: type mananana
designer alchemy: really fast
designer alchemy: it rules
designer alchemy: manana
designer alchemy: but do it the home row proper typing way
designer alchemy: manana
designer alchemy: pinky pointy finger
designer alchemy: manana
designer alchemy: manananananananana
themostdeplete: ahhahahahaha
themostdeplete: wtf
designer alchemy: do it
designer alchemy: it rules
themostdeplete: i dont do home row nigger
designer alchemy: DO IT HOME ROW FGT
designer alchemy: MANANA
themostdeplete: i am a "pecker" according to my bcis teacher in high school
designer alchemy: MANANA
themostdeplete: she was yelling at me
themostdeplete: called me a pecker
themostdeplete: during the test
designer alchemy: LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
themostdeplete: ONCE A PECKER ALWAYS A PECKER
themostdeplete: im like what the fuck bitch
designer alchemy: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
designer alchemy: YOU'RE TEACHER CAALLED YOU A PECKER
designer alchemy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
themostdeplete: HAHAHAHAHAHA
themostdeplete: god dammit
designer alchemy: HOLY FUCK THAT'S FUNNY

arriving..

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 09:52:11 GMT

so i just arrived in houston and i'm not gonna lie.. it's really, really weird being in houston and kavi not being any part of the reason. it's been about two years since the last time i was hear. crazy how much shit has changed.

as i was driving down 290 coming to roshan's apartment, smoking a cigarette, new amsterdams on the stereo.. so fitting:

you can run from the sorrow and all that you lose is the chance to make peace with the path that you choose
little apple, i'm sure, is as small as you think
bitter reminder the drown is in the drink
i admit i regret that i'm needing you
i'm depressed, you're the mess, that i looked up to
i retract every word that i say
i swear, i'll never treat others
i sweat, i'll never treat others that way
maybe this isn't anything like it should be
you'd be humble and famous, it falls perfectly
i have made some decisions, choices you make
then i see, to my error, i've made a mistake
i admit, i regret, that i'm needing you
i'm depressed, you're the mess that i looked up to
i retract every word that i say
i swear i never treat others
i swear, i never treat others
i swear i will never treat others
don't open your mouth
don't worry about it
if i was in your place i'd never allow it
i admit, i regret, i'm needing you
i'm depressed, you're the mess that i looked up to
i retract every word that i say
i swear i never treat others
i swear, i never treat others that way.

blah blah blah. it also fucking sucks that i'm here without the dinosam. oh well, here's to making the best of it.

htown..

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 06:12:20 GMT

friday through monday i'll be in houston.

short version.. sam was supposed to get here today, she got sick, had to cancel her flight. so i'll be heading to houston by myself. disappointed as fuck that she won't be with me, but excited to see houston for the first time in almost two years.

i'm sure pictures and dumb stories will be posted soon. blah blah blah.

can't tell me nothin'

Sun, 20 May 2007 19:56:17 GMT

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i'm bored. and extremely tired. and i don't want to work today. blah blah blah. i can't wait for sam to get here. houston is gonna be so much fun. we're going to see the graduate and the audition on our last night in houston with roshan.

i was supposed to get one of my hand tattoos thursday, but annie was all booked up. hopefully we'll be able to make it happen this week.

my mom was kind enough to buy me a pair of glasses. i can see again. it's wonderful. i got a little carried away with my purchase and got versace. oops.

just started reading the rules of attraction by bret easton ellis. enjoying it so far. i'm gonna try to knock out a few chapters at work today. it'll keep me from falling asleep during long calls and down time.

all the lights will breathe the same air..

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 06:46:38 GMT

being poor = not fun = not having glasses or diamonds tattooed on my hands.

i got a little too drunk last night. the end result was throwing up, bloody noses, and cade eating my food while i was passed out on his couch.

i'm taking a break from heavy drinking for the next month. the only exceptions will be cinco de mayo and cade's birthday. i've been going at it a little hard lately, so a little breather will probably do some good.

dinosam is coming to visit from boston in a month! so excited. she's gonna fly in for five days and we're gonna drive to houston and destroy it with my boy roshan. she's never been to this part of the country, so i'll be showing her why texas is the best state in the union.

that's all i got for now.

here come the sirens..

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 20:16:02 GMT

i always want to update this but never really know what to say.

work is good. got a dollar an hour raise. maybe that'll equal out to me actually having money. i need to get caught up on shit.

school is school. boring, surrounded by thirty girls all day (believe me, it's not nearly as great as you'd think it'd be). doing hair is the only good part about school, with the exception of a select few people.

trying to weigh options for after i finish school. i'm thinking i'll stay in lubbock for a couple of months after and work two jobs so i can move to houston asap. as much as i want to go back to boston, there really isn't much for me there. there's one person that could get me to go back.. and no, it isn't kavi. but who knows at this point, it's still a bit of a ways away.

sam drew me.

what else to say.. what else to say.. i stay up too late, smoke too many cigarettes, and care way too much about something that potentially won't happen. someone becomes everyone, somewhere becomes everywhere.. etc, etc.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 01:35:33 GMT

today i saw an elephant.

i'm getting diamonds tattooed on my hands soon. excited.

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 06:41:20 GMT

i do this to myself.

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 08:41:17 GMT

since i know you're going to read this..

i love talking to you, i really do. as self conscious as you are about our conversations, i genuinely find the things you say interesting. and i enjoyed actually getting to hear a little bit about you tonight. something that doesn't happen enough.

i hope you enjoy the music. i love that i can share that with you.

i might regret this. who cares.

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 09:18:32 GMT

i know about every guy that you fucked that you think i never knew about.
i know about gray and you're little week long adventure when you moved to boston. i know about you two emailing back and forth, him trying to keep you, you telling him it was just a one week fling.
i know about you telling him about your 'job' that enabled me to move to boston. and i know that you lied to me about every last bit of that.
i know that you aborted what i thought was my child, made one of the kindest people i've ever met pay for it, and made me sick to my stomach thinking it was mine. for four years.
i know what you worried about that you tried to get me to worry about.

and i don't give a shit about calling you out in public like this. i don't care who reads it. because i'm not calling you out. this has nothing to do with you. this is for me.

and don't worry about getting back at me (if you even read this). here, i'll do it for you.

i talked to a girl for six months after you asked me not to. nothing ever happened. hell, i never met the girl. but you considered it cheating so that we could be on an even keel since you ACTUALLY cheated on me within the first month of our relationship.
when i moved back to lubbock after houston, i slept with someone. a lot. her name starts with a d and ends with an e. remember our new years party? while you were with your friends in the kitchen, i was kissing her in eric's room.
then boston without you. oh boston without you. let's see, i slept with a girl named mandie that night i went out to mal's. and yes, i did fall in love with sam.
then back to lubbock. upon arriving here, i went out every night i told you i didn't. i got so many phone numbers, i lost count within the first week of being back. i hooked up with the girl i told you i was just friends with. that night i told you i wasn't at her house? yeah, i was at her house. april also came to town a couple of times, so i saw her.

and when you were here for christmas? remember how i said i only saw her once? i saw her every night except for one.

so what's the difference here? everything i did, i did while we were broken up (maybe still talking, maybe still in love, but broken up none the less). everything you did, you did while we were together. i did what i did because i knew i had to live my life because deep down, i knew that you were constantly lying to me, and that eventually i'd need to move on with my life. and i know you probably won't read this, so maybe i'm not actually talking to you. maybe i'm typing simply because it's three am and i keep driving myself insane looking at pictures of you. then i remember these things. then i remember how capable i am. then i remember that gray was right about you all along.

so why do i still miss you?

i confide in wolves at night..

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 12:09:11 GMT

so i've been out with a few different girls since being back in lubbock. and i've pulled more phone numbers than i can count. most of them i delete pretty soon after getting them. i'm kind of an asshole. and the girls i have been out with.. well.. i'm working on it.

anyway, i'm mildly. drunk. i was at a cocktail party tonight with matt and ellee. where i got another one of said phone numbers. a theatre major. minor in dance. very cute girl. hanging out soon. we'll see.

just finished the fuck up by arthur nersesian. great book. almost done with the elephant vanishes by haruki murakami. also great. then onto magic for beginners by kelly link, which i just remember i still need to go pick up from barnes and noble.. they called me and told me it was in a couple of days ago.

matt finally wrote music. i've been writing words. we're thinking about being a two piece (matt playing guitar, me singing). if we go that route, we're going to be purchasing a new laptop and software for it so we can have drum/bass/extra vocals/extra guitars pre programmed into it for live performance. we've got lots of ideas for our live show.. tv's, lights, static.. 'mistakes.' is happening.

my myspace isn't private.. have fun.

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 02:20:51 GMT

it must suck to get called out and then throw yourself at someone to get back at someone else. it must also suck when every picture of you and that person references an ex. makes for one hell of a solid foundation. hahahaha.

p.s. it also must suck to be a boyfriend and not know that everything your girlfriend does is totally just to show off to her ex. haaahahahahahaha. you gotta wonder how secure he can possibly feel knowing that his girlfriend spends her time dedicating her facebook to showing up for her ex. bahahahaha. you know what doesn't suck? having to worry about getting yelled for EVERY single move you make, person you talk to, girl you look at, thing you say, etc. that's pretty nice.

i've got a new interest, wonderful friends, a few pennies in my pocket, and hair to do.. life is good.

our shadows never leave us alone.

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 07:13:06 GMT

bad things.

can't afford tuition.
pawned ipod and camera.
broke new sunglasses.
my job keeps fucking up my schedule.
causing drama with someone that you're just (kind of/not really/gah) starting something new with isn't smart.
paying for her to get acupuncture when you can't afford tuition probably isn't the best idea either, but it's worth it.

good things.

roshan was here from houston for four days last week. that was extra awesome times.
boston sam bought me an awesome texas mug that she's sending me soon. she also sent me an awesome late monsters, inc xmas present.
i stopped by lubbock sam's apartment today on the way to work. she made me a sandwich. it was tasty and the bread was toasted. we watched little miss sunshine.
i'm currently reading two books. at home i'm reading 'sarah' by jt leroy, and at work i'm reading 'memoirs of my melancholy whores' by gabriel garcia marquez. both equally amazing.

since i'm off from work tomorrow i'll probably update this here thing with a bunch of pictures from roshan's trip to lubbock. blah. i need food and sleep.